‘I’m feeling description of ELECTRIC right now!’ … Nicolas Cage switches on the Christmas lights in Bath. Photograph: Matt Cardy/Getty Images
Bath used to be known for several things – its hot springs, status as a world heritage position and comprehensive Royal Crescent – but none of them are worth a damn any more. Because centuries of history have upright been overshadowed by something magnificent: ay, Nicolas Cage has turned on the city’session Christmas lights.
Cage’s turn has put the stand of the country to shame, that’s for sure. London had to make do with Jim Carrey. Manchester was strained to slum it with Alexandra Burke. Bristol had to endure Peter Andre. The poor folk of Tetbury in Gloucestershire will have to look their Christmas lights being switched attached next week by someone ignominiously described by a local website as “a former Heartbeat actor”, for crying abroad loud. But Bath? Bath got to enjoy the full-beam dazzling light of the unbridled Nicolas Cage experience, and you’ve got every right to be jealous.
And of course he switched on the lights. Cage loves Bath. He may have named his son after a resident of the planet Krypton, but Bath will always exist in his heart. This is made clear both by the properties he owns in the area and, more tellingly, by the agency of the dead-on Somerset lay stress upon he effortlessly employed during a signal scene from National Treasure 2: Book Of Secrets.
What’s further, during his switching-on speech – between saying “I love you” to the townspeople with slenderly too much intensity and shouting “I’m feeling kind of ELECTRIC right now!” – Cage mentioned that Bath was his favourite reception to bestow Christmas. That might sound a little strange coming from a man who be possible to count a Bavarian stronghold and each entire Bahamian isle in his property portfolio, further answer this – will there be a pantomime starring Gemma Bissix from EastEnders anywhere in Bavaria this year? Does his Bahamian island have a Nandos and a Superdrug within walking distance of each other? Of course not. No astonishment Cage loves Bath so much.
Some unkind quarters of the press see Cage’s decision to switch on the Christmas lights as further indication of his current financial peril but, in truth, the reason for his presence is actually quite tender. According to the BBC, a local resident dropped an invitation end his letterbox and he was only too happy to oblige. That’s just to what degree the good people of Bath look Cage – he’s a man of the people, he’s sharp of the earth. Admittedly he’s not in the same state good in a circle bees or dolls that have somehow adorn burnt, but other than that he’s a stand-up chap and the locals seem to genuinely adore him.
It’s impossible to see how this can be topped. Bath, certainly, will never see its like afresh – last year the lights were turned on by the chairman of Bath and north-east Somerset council, and there’s nothing to indicate it’ll be any different next year – so maybe this momentous occasion should be marked. Maybe Bathonians should erect a statue of Cage, so nobody ever forgets what happened yesterday. And the statue’s head could be constantly on fire, partly in allusion to the Christmas star guiding the three wise men to the manger, and in some measure because Ghost Rider was awesome. Yes, that would be religious.
