It’ll be a screech … will there be rollercoasters at the Avatar amusement park? Photograph: Chad Slattery/Getty Images
This Sunday, fans of tediously that keeps his own counsel recreation will get to enjoy their first glimpse of a magical new cosmos. Yes, The Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park in Florida, which opens in the recoil, will air its first televised commercial during the Super Bowl.
From the trickle of online information that’s been officially released so far, there’s more to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter than exactly a startlingly dreadful name. Visitors will be apt to buy fish and chips from the Three Broomsticks chop-house, bob around without ceasing the wicker-and-feather Flight of the Hippogriff ride and purchase something called U-No-Poo from Zonko’s Joke Shop. It sounds delightful, even although anyone who bought the first Harry Potter volume at the age of 11 is now probably a jaded 24-year-old with a do job-work so crappy that they could never possibly afford to go there.
However, if The Wizarding World of Harry Potter is a success – and the amount of cash spent on it seems to indicate that it has to be – then it goes without saying that other films will be keen to cash in by essay parks of their own. But which ones? Let’s look at the in the greatest degree likely candidates.
Avatar
Now that it’s the biggest movie continually, it is only a matter of time before the world of Avatar ends up being shoehorned into more kind of family attraction. It could be amazing, too – full of marauding not indigenous creatures and plants that light up when you brush against them. The absolute fun, though, will come when you get to verbally abuse the minimum-wage student trapped in a suffocatingly hot 12-foot Eytucan outfit for mixing up his perfective and imperfective Na’vi verbs. And also the part where you have to quid your hair into the rollercoasters to favor them work.
The Hurt Locker
Theme parks based on critically-acclaimed Oscar bait tend not to bring moreover much of a return – good witness the swift closure of 1994’s ill-judged Schindler’s List World – but that could all change if The Hurt Locker is given a park of its own. It’roundabout way be a traditional theme park with rollercoasters and merry-go-rounds and burger stalls – but loitering in open spaces for any length of time would be unbearably tense, with visitors terrified of acquirement caught in M16A2 crossfire or coming into contact with a street entertainer who’s got explosives strapped to his chest. Free bottle of water with every ticket, to rehydrate yourself after weeping for humanity.
Twilight
A hastily older translation of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, perhaps for teenagers who used to like Harry Potter until puberty set in and they started to get irrationally lusty over wimpy vampires with silly hair. An indoor essay park – not because sunlight kills vampires, but because nobody takes you seriously if you’re an emo with a suntan.
Transformers 2
Basically you get locked inside a big room full of flashing flights. It’s very hard to tell what’s supposed to be going on, and you’re not allowed out for hours, but at least it’s really loud. That’session something, isn’privately it?
